BP 86/57…I’m hanging in there

My Bp earlier today was 86/57 (the clock on the photo is wrong) but my blood pressure has stabilized a little after the second dose of IV Zithromax.

When I say ‘a little’, it means my bp is 100/67, or in the high 90s, which is close enough to normal for me. As long as I feel better (which I do), that’s what is most important.

I felt like death earlier today. I felt so close to death, I was actually surprised my bp was as high as 86/57, because I would have guessed it was lower I felt so bad. After he second dose of Zithromax, I felt like I could walk around again. I didn’t even feel well enough to get out and go see my doctor today, so I had to call him instead. I hate calling because doctors don’t get paid for phone calls…I try to get myself to physically go in as much as possible. But today I couldn’t move.

I think the problem is, I have too many bad things going on at once so my system is starting to shut down. I’m

1) really upset about my ex boyfriend. He really hurt my son by leaving and not saving goodbye, not even sending a card. And he left a huge mess for me to deal with that I have a lot of guilt about. That alone would make a normal person sick.

2) I’m dealing with an ongoing bladder infection that just won’t go away. And all of the urinary/lower back problems along with it.

3) Ongoing chronic bartonella infection, that my system just won’t fight off.

4) A really bad cough. Really bad, and it’s starting to produce mucous though my chest X-rays keep being clear…which doesn’t signal necessarily that there is nothing serious brewing in my medical case. My cough has been so bad, that the nurses kept wanting to talk about my cough in the ER…but I was there for my toe splinter. The Zithromax is helping with the cough though as well.

Then thrown in my toe jam problem that I wrote about yesterday, and now I have I’m brewing a life threatening situation.

Of course I don’t have a fever…I rarely do. But the way I feel and this bp reading just confirms.

Today I felt so ill, it reminds me that I have to take care of all of my loose ends as soon as possible. We can not take any moment for granted. I still have more of a mess to clean up, and I’m not ready to go just yet. We all need to be diligent every day and not take any moment for granted, because it is *the truth* that each moment we have on this planet is a gift to be treasured. Be grateful and use each minute wisely.

About hopeforanswers

Some kind of rare immune deficiency, yet to be determined. A lifetime of infections without an elevated white cell blood or fever. Very grateful to be alive, very thankful for the friends who’ve supported me and for access to literally millions of dollars worth of medical care. I’m not the bubble child, I’m somewhere in between.
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