I know I have to start preparing to get out of the hospital, and it’s actually really scary because I don’t have any help at home…for the first time, ever. My ex-boyfriend just left with no notice, right in the midst of some major health problems…and he knew it. He didn’t give me time to figure out another plan. I feel like I was thrown down the stairs.

So I’m scrambling to keep myself going (doctors, medications), and trying to figure out a support system, all at the same time…it’s very overwhelming.

I just keep reminding myself all I can do is take it one day at a time. There are so many holes in my lifeboat at once, I just have to plug them one at a time…filling the worst ones first. That’s all I can do.

Then I have to think about the long term plans..trying to find ways to help contribute. I wouldn’t be on this planet if it wasn’t for my son’s godfather, and I have to find a way to give back. I have to stabilize my health, and then figure that out. Quickly.

This is the first time since I become very ill in 2005, that I haven’t had a support system in place. And this is one of my worst health crises ever…a horrifying combination.