Since I’m on the prowl here in Ottawa, I thought I’d put together a list of qualities that my dream doctor has:

1) My dream doctor is a great listener. When I say listener, I mean they’re hearing what I tell them and not what they want (or expect) to hear.

2) My dream doctor trusts what I’m saying. Since my case is so strange, I need a doctor who trusts me. Sometimes, that .01% just walked through your door, and I need you to believe that I’m real.

3) My dream doctor will order things for me on faith. Since my blood tests and imaging studies are often false negatives, I needs doctors will act when I ask them to act. This relates back to trust. They have to know I won’t ask them to take a medical action unless I really feel I need it. They need to respect that, and give me the benefit of a doubt.

4) My dream doctor genuinely cares about me. My case is so overwhelming, I have to find doctors who understand me as a person. This is too miserable of a journey, for both me and the doctor, for it to be a superficial relationship. We have to have a genuine bond.

5) My dream doctor has knowledge and insight, and creative suggestions for me. I didn’t go to medical school and my medical knowledge is limited at best, so I need to hear ideas and suggestions regarding different potential solutions.

My case is the ultimate evidence for why medicine still needs to be rooted as a collaboration between doctor and patient. Neither of us will be right all the time, and sometimes one of us will be right and the other will be wrong. We have to respect sometimes my case is a process of elimination.

I need a doctor who is willing to sit with me, through this train wreck known as ‘Tara’s medical case’, and do their best to help me live through it.

That’s all I ask. I just need you to try.