The Cruelty of Some

It never ceases to amaze me the inhumanity and cruelty of some people.

I have a friend whose wife has horrible, debilitating health problems. She is in and out of the hospital all of time.

That means they are constantly burdened with the struggles of dealing with doctors, insurance companies, nurses, money–constantly dealing with all of the good and the bad that comes along with being chronically ill.

This friend of mine, Douglas, just posted on Facebook that he had a “friend” actually say to him that she found his problems too ‘exhausting’.

Excuse me–are you f***ing kidding me? Exhausting? (To whom?)

The history of humanity is saturated with cruel and inhumane people, people like Dracula, who killed a bunch of poor townspeople because he was tired of hearing them beg for food, or the obvious evil, Hilter, who killed people simply because he deemed them to be lesser humans than himself.

You’d think–in this day and age–when we supposedly live in a culture of ‘awareness’, that people wouldn’t be so cruel.

To this unknown verbal assailant: yes, it is exhausting to hear the suffering of your fellow man. But I can tell you as someone who knows, IT IS MUCH WORSE TO LIVE THROUGH THEM.

Clearly my friend Douglas takes solace in writing, finding strength by reaching out for some compassion from others. Give him that. If it helps give him the strength to fight another day, so be it.

I actually had a friend/co-worker say to me once, that lions would leave behind the sick in their pack to die. In the context of the conversation, he was definitely letting me know where he felt I belonged. I was so shocked by this statement, I just blew it off–I had to.

But I looked up at God and thanked him for how lucky I am that my life isn’t in his hands.

It’s very easy to pick on people who are sick. We are burdened with just trying to stay alive, and we’re not ourselves. We are moody and emotional and grumpy because we’re in constant pain. It took me a number of years to learn to put on a ‘game face’ when I leave the house, and even then it’s not always easy.

Unless you’ve been diagnosed with a serious, debilitating illness, you don’t understand what it’s like to wake up with a knife in your stomach every day and then try to get through the day.

Yes, we all have our own problems,

but being chronically doesn’t immune you from normal life problems–love, children, work, ‘normal’ human problems–

Being chronically ill means you have all of the normal human problems AND you’re suffering in pain too.

Days when it’s just too overwhelming, I’ve learned to stay inside. If I’m not even well enough to put on my game face, I just stay indoors.

It would have taken less work for this ‘friend’ to say to Doug: I’m sorry you’re going through so much, then to say what she did.

Thank God this friend doesn’t have any real power–there’d be a lot of people who would be denied the help they need, if she couldn’t even lend a compassionate ear, which doesn’t cost anything, and takes so little time.

The Banality of Evil.

About hopeforanswers

Some kind of rare immune deficiency, yet to be determined. A lifetime of infections without an elevated white cell blood or fever. Very grateful to be alive, very thankful for the friends who’ve supported me and for access to literally millions of dollars worth of medical care. I’m not the bubble child, I’m somewhere in between.
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