I went to go and check up on my father, and he had a centimeter line of bloody drool from his mouth to the bottom of his chin.

He thinks it’s being caused from the suction machine he got to help him get the mucus out of his mouth. I doubt it…I think the blood is a sign the tumor is breaking through. Yes, maybe the suction thing irritated his throat, but I doubt it would cause anything bloody.

I tried to look calm, but my father is no dummy and he saw the quick flash of fear cross over my eyes when he first looked up.

Of course I didn’t tell him what I really thought what was causing the bloody chin. I’ve learned there is nothing that can be done once the tumor starts to break through anyway. All I could do is offer to go with him to ‘Emerge’, “maybe there’s something they can do for you there?”,

though I admit that was mostly a selfish request, because I know they can’t do anything, I was just offering because I’m much prefer him to die in the hospital then here in his apartment…

But of course–true to form–my father refused to go anywhere, and even got up and went over to his computer and worked a little on his Club..his Club is the main reason he’s still alive…it’s been his life work, and he doesn’t want to leave it. He loves the members and many of them love him too.

After putzing at the computer for a moment,

he went back to the couch, wrapping himself in a thick blanket, even though it must have been 95 degrees in there. He mumbled that he was sorry it was so hot, but he was cold, and I instantly shook my head, it was okay Paw…we understand…

“no fat, Teddy. I have no fat”.

I know Paw. We can see.

I like a good rest in a sauna anyway…