To David on Love

This latest fiasco with my mouth, is just another startling reminder of how delicate my life is, how one ‘simple’ problem could easily turn into a life threatening emergency for me…

I was watching David playing away on his computer tonight, and all I kept thinking about was, how much I may miss…what would I wish I could tell him, that I can tell him while I’m still here, that he may remember in his little 12 year old memory, that I would want him to know about life?

What would be most important?

“David, you’re going to fall in love one day…I’m excited for you about it, it’s a beautiful feeling.”

David types away at his computer, not wanted to take his eyes off the computer game he’s playing, but he’s intrigued by what I’m saying…

Love is clearly starting to cross his mind.

He turns towards me.

“Since you’re just like me, and Grandpa Bill, when you do fall in love, just a warning, you’re going to fall deep, you’re going to fall hard.”

David was now looking straight at me, contemplating what I was saying.

“You’re going to get your heart broken at some point too, and it’s going to be bad, it’s going to hurt terribly, but that’s okay—”

He turns back to his computer. Talking about broken hearts wasn’t part of the deal.

“David!! Look at me. Stop playing your game for a second. This is important.”

With a big shrug and sigh, he turns back to me.

“But always remember it’s okay to be hurt — getting hurt means you loved someone deeply, and loving someone deeply and getting hurt is better than never loving at all.”

With another slight shrug ‘this conversation is getting weird Mom’, he turned back to his computer, clicking away, but I could see he was clearly contemplating what I was saying…

Hmmm….love. I wonder what that’s going to be like…

It’s going to be the reason we keep going on the planet, my dear son, but it will be thing that can destroy us too if we’re not careful.

Just remember it’s okay to be hurt, as painful as it is, hurt is a good thing. In order to know true joy and happiness, we must also know pain too.

It’s the price of true love…

About hopeforanswers

Some kind of rare immune deficiency, yet to be determined. A lifetime of infections without an elevated white cell blood or fever. Very grateful to be alive, very thankful for the friends who’ve supported me and for access to literally millions of dollars worth of medical care. I’m not the bubble child, I’m somewhere in between.
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