I wrote this on Ingrid’s wall…

I forgot to send you this…I was thinking about the conversion we had the other day about people who like the play in the victim. In this case, the article was about a woman who had to slave away bartending until she could write enough to get to her dream job…

I admire people who work hard to purse their dreams — unlike most of my friends, I worked two jobs for a year to save up to move to Los Angeles (then worked in grad school too :), so I definitely understand people who work hard —

The problem I have is when those people who are working so hard forget how lucky they are to be working so hard…oh, what I would give to be one of them…


There are *no* guarantees in life, and anyone who is healthy, with enough money to live, is doing better than 99% of the people on the planet. I have no problems with people having dreams, or wanting something ‘better’ for themselves, but have a little humility too. It is a *luxury* to have time to write, a luxury most of us can’t afford. So write with your heart and write with your soul, because those who are in the luxurious position should honor it by being truthful, to themselves, to others, to God… (Which I know you do Ingrid 🙂

Article a little frustrating too…Some of us had everything going for us than suddenly had everything ripped away due to health problems beyond our control…when I sense people are acting spoiled, I tell them to go to the Cedars-Sinai ER on a Friday night and sit in the waiting room for a few hours, then come back and talk to me about human suffering. I’ve lost a lot of friends because I have no problems telling people they have no idea how good they have it when they’re acting like spoiled and arrogant. Be grateful.

I know I’m totally ranting, lol, but as I lay here in bed listening to my medicine pump drip medication I so desperately need, pursuing a dream is not even in my daily vocabulary. I’m too consumed with just figuring out how to stay alive.

About hopeforanswers

Some kind of rare immune deficiency, yet to be determined. A lifetime of infections without an elevated white cell blood or fever. Very grateful to be alive, very thankful for the friends who’ve supported me and for access to literally millions of dollars worth of medical care. I’m not the bubble child, I’m somewhere in between.
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