I just called Dr. Hanson at the N.I.H.

I basically left on his vm,

“I know I’ve been a bad girl, I was with my father in Canada while he was dying of cancer, getting whatever last minute family history I could get out of him, but now I’m back in the United States, committed to doing whatever I can to pick up where we left off.

Everything is still the same (ongoing medical problems, infections, etc), but what is interesting to note is I currently have a mouth infection, that I cultured positive for strep and actimoyces, *and* I have ultrasounds showing a problem, where usually I don’t register on an imaging study, due to my lack of an inflammatory process.

And–as usual–I don’t have a fever or an elevated wcb, but I do have some pain.

Let me know if the study is still going, if it’s been closed, I would love a referral to someone else. I am willing to fly back to Virginia and speak directly with my mother again as well.”

(Which is code for: I will get an army of attorneys and suck the blood out of her if necessary…)

I know I am hitting my head against a ten foot concrete wall, but I just woke up this morning, and decided I have to stop feeling sorry for myself and just keep pounding the pavement.

It’s not like burying my head in the sand is going to help–or having a thousand doctors refuse to help me–none of that is going to make this problem go away.

I have been living with this my entire fucking life. If someone refuses to believe it, that doesn’t make it any less real.

It just means I have to keep going…

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