The only kind of suspense I like: Hitchcockian movie suspense.

I just got a call from the surgeon’s office, they want me to come in and see the surgeon next Tuesday because my pathology report came in and the surgeon wants to discuss it with me..

I think we all know whenever they want you to ‘come in and discuss it’, this is NEVER a good sign.

I even said to the secretary,

“Can’t you just give me the results over the phone?”

Here I am, lying in bed severely nauseous–I can’t image I’m going to feel like going anywhere, anytime, soon–plus I’m a big girl…having spent the majority of my adult life with serious health problems, there isn’t anything they could dish out at me that I can’t take over the phone.


Just give it to me. 🙂

“I’m sorry Ma’am, but you need to come in and discuss the results with the doctor.”

Well, they definitely don’t give that kind of response for a normal result.

Wait until Tuesday? I hate suspense. So immediately started contacting my other doctors, ‘so, is my pathology report in yet?’, hoping that someone will get back to me…

I’m guessing they probably just got the name of the bacteria that’s (stubbornly) growing in my neck, but who knows…I guess it can always potentially be worse news.

(Which I doubt, because my ultrasound just showed a swollen lymph node–I think if there was cancer growing in there, the ultrasound would have looked different, but I’m not entirely sure how these thing work exactly–)

Still….I hate waiting. I’d rather just get a confirmation that it’s a bacteria growing, which is what we already suspected.

I’m just so ill right now, I can barely move…I’m struggling to sip drinks and not vomit it up, not an easy task when I’m this nauseous…

I’m not sure what to even do about this nausea…my infectious disease doctor, who is such a sweetheart, is trying to squeeze me in today so I can talk to him about all of this. I’m wondering if I need to take a break for a few days to let my liver heal a little (and maybe just do an oral antibiotic instead?)

I’m not sure what is the pros v cons of fighting the infection versus the health of my liver…I’m guessing my liver would take some priority right now? 🤔

About hopeforanswers

Some kind of rare immune deficiency, yet to be determined. A lifetime of infections without an elevated white cell blood or fever. Very grateful to be alive, very thankful for the friends who’ve supported me and for access to literally millions of dollars worth of medical care. I’m not the bubble child, I’m somewhere in between.
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