Maybe I just need to accept:
1) There’s no one, anywhere, that wants to help get the answer.
2) Maybe there is no answer. Maybe medicine isn’t there yet.
3) I’m going to have to continue to suffer horribly for the rest of my life and have the world not believe/understand/care because I look too goddamn healthy all the time.
4) I’m going to be chained to needing a constant flow of expensive medical care to keep me on the planet, and when that ends, I’m dead.