I had a rough night.

The last few days I missed a couple of doses of my IV antibiotics (I’ve been too focus on my playing in my lab 😢),

and wow I’m going downhill.

I’ve been sick a long time, I know enough about medicine to know I shouldn’t be feeling this ill after two years of treatment,

but I just can’t fight this actinomycesis infection off.

I should have known I was headed towards a bad weekend when I tasted a little salty mucous come out of my lower jaw yesterday. First time I tasted that taste was when my lower jaw was super swollen when I first got the infection, and every so often I taste it again. It’s usually a warning I’m headed towards trouble.

I took my blood pressure at 4am 3 times and every time it was in the 80s–not to mention I was feeling like death–but I just couldn’t bring myself to go to the ER because I’m not sure what they can do for me there that I can’t do for my myself at home.

So I:

* dosed myself up on my IVIg. I’m too low right now. I gave myself 8 grams at 4am. * I changed up my antibiotics slightly.
* I *forced* myself to take my dog for a walk at 5am. The local Rite Aid is 24 hours and I figure if I was in super big trouble someone could help for help if I needed it. The walk was super painful, hardest walk I ever felt. I almost vomitted.

I read the other day Hippocrates said if you’re super sick you should walk, and if you can’t walk whatever you have will kill you.

I decided to force myself to walk. I was dizzy and I almost vomited on the sidewalk, but by the time I got home I did start to feel a little bit better.

When my blood pressure is this low, the best way I can describe how I feel, is that it’s like having concrete blood flowing through your veins…it’s like I’m being sucked to the ground. Like a slab is forcing me under.

Then when I got home I forced myself to get through more boxes, the boxes I’m trying I organize before I die. It’s amazing how much junk I have mixed it with important mementoes. Some boxes all I think how embarrassing it would be if I had left it for someone to sort through (and that ‘someone’ is most likely my son later in life…). Every time I finish a box I’m grateful I lived long enough to organize it.

I also tinkered a little in my lab…I couldn’t help myself…I’m really excited about my skin care stuff, I just had to tinker a little…

The way I’m feeling, I might just have to go to hospital for a few days, at least they can give me lots of fluids to boost my bp, but I’m hoping not too…

I’m not ready to die just yet…I need to finish my boxes…still too much junk mixed it with too many important things…

This was my blood pressure when I woke up around 4am:

This was my blood pressure just now:

It’s going to be a rough few weeks…